Learning How to Eat Like a Victoria's Secret Model

Throughout a month, an ELLE editor learns that being professional-grade skinny is more difficult than it looks-way harder



Step one: The consultation

"I think you should buy the scale. " Those were the hard-hitting words of nutritionist-to-the-svelte Dr . Charles Passler, a New York-based professional, whose custom designed diet plan helped to peel almost 50 pounds off Adriana Lima after she gave birth to child Sienna last September, and who I'd been consulting with for the past four weeks. "So you can hold yourself accountable. "

Related: Everything You Need to Know About the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Some background: holding myself accountable isn't exactly my powerful suit. I've lost count of the number of times I've slugged down the sugary Skinny Vanilla latte just because it was cold outside, ordered another circular of sauvignon blanc after I'd already closed my tab, or consumed my husband's bolognese in lieu of my own sensible plate of greens. And every period I indulge a compulsion, I swear up and down it's the last time. As well as for a week or so it is. Until it isn't.

It's this lifestyle that has led me personally, a 5'3", 29-year-old with a pretty decent rack, to my resting bodyweight of 123 pounds. In my adult life, I don't believe I've ever considered less than 113 pounds (my wedding, a mere three months ago) or more than 135 (right after senior year of college when my roommate told me that, indeed, I looked fat).

Looking and feeling skinny is definitely a brass ring for me. And for as long as I can remember, I've always been conscious of my size as it compares to others. When I was younger, that awareness presided over how much my thighs spread across the tarmac at the pool; as an mature, it evolved into dissecting how big my arms look compared to those of my buddies in Facebook pics. It's a haunting and all-consuming state of consciousness which governs decisions ranging from what to wear to whether or not I should sit front line at SoulCycle. It's so exhausting and upsetting that you might wonder why We don't just lose the 10 pounds that long ago affixed themselves to the thighs and butt and move on with my life, right? Well, I'd countertop your unsolicited suggestion with a different argument: losing and gaining those 10 pounds is my life. Contrary to how it may look, my lifestyle isn't among decadent dinners, grueling boxing sessions, and a sometimes-distended, sometimes-concave tummy, it's among constant negotiations and justifications, self-loathing and self-celebration, all woven into a mind that renders me, at any given moment, somewhere between manically happy and catatonically despondent.

To say I have food issues is an understatement.

It's these issues that lastly led me to Dr . Passler's rather sterile Greenwich Village office per month ago. The best way to categorize Dr . P's clientele is this: Victoria's Secret models, actors-Sally Field followed a program to gain fifteen pounds for her Oscar-nominated portrayal of Martha Todd Lincoln in last year's Lincoln-and the kind of Yelpers who post things such as, "When I saw another patient of Dr . Passler's last year at SXSW I notice her glowing skin. " It's a privileged group, of course , that can afford every week $65 consultations, meal replacement bars at $2. 75 a pop, as well as pricey supplements. And all of us felt our needs required professional attention.

At my very first visit, Dr . P-an affable, balding fellow with a penchant for dad plaids as well as posing questions you couldn't possibly know the answer to-asked me if I was obviously a particularly stressed person. I'd had an incredible night's sleep, was having an incredible hair day, and was seeing the doctor who helped an Angel shed nearly a pound a day. 'Not particularly! ', I answered brightly. But once he clipped a sensor to my big toe, which transmitted the vitals to his PC, it became clear that whether or not I knew it, my figure was stressed. From my breathing patterns to my body fat percentage, that was shockingly high considering the amount and intensity with which I exercise, my body had been trying to reconcile enough activity for two badly behaving 29-year-olds.

To illustrate the actual journey I was about to take, Dr . Passler drew two crude circles-a large one labeled 125 (the current me) and a tidier, smaller one tagged 113 (the future me). He then scribbled inside the heavier circle until it much more closely resembled a gnarled black hole. "That's you, " he gestured. "You're a swirling, garbled, over-exercised, overfed nebulus of darkness, " I believed. And instantly, I felt like one.

Beauty Tips and Selfie Tricks Using the Model Judges From The Face

View the original article here