The next day, Alexander Wang’s collection for H&M finally hits stores. For the past few months, we have been eagerly anticipating the launch, but no one’s quite as thrilled as the folks at H&M, who have placed countdown clocks outside the locations which will be selling the collab. Because this will be an especially chaotic event, H&M has established a few ground rules to ensure as few causalities as possible occur-although we realize it’s extremely likely that people will be fighting to the death.
And a fight to the death activates all of our Hunger Games feelings. So , we decided to draw some natural comparisons-and create a survival guide, in anticipation.
If you’re unfamiliar, watch the movie, seriously the actual Hunger Games is a fight to the death style match, which pits teens against each other in a super scary arena. Only one participant, called "a gratitude, " can survive. The Games kick off with the cornucopia, which is defined through the Hunger Games Wiki (so official! ) as “an event that has usually occurred at the very beginning of every Hunger Games since they began, as most of the contribution compete for valuable weapons, food, water and packs full of other useful supplies that could be useful during the games. These supplies are spread in and around the actual Cornucopia. ” Basically, it’s where all the goods are stashed, and, within the Alexander Wang for H&M version of The Hunger Games, the Cornucopia is actually where the collab is housed.
Here are the RULES for tomorrow's event (and pay attention, you don’t want to be blasted off your platform before the games even begin). The very first 420 people in line will get wristbands (which is like getting all your sponsor presents in one go before you’ve even entered the arena, because without that wristband, you’re toast. ), color-coded to denote what time they’ll be let in to buy. The doors open at 8 A. M., and wristbanded people will be allowed in groups of 30, and allowed 15 minutes (that’s right, 15 minutes) to buy (only two items of each style, so don’t bother employing the bulk grab technique). After everyone with a wristband has shopped (all 420 associated with them) the masses will be let in to pounce on whatever’s left. The. K. A. nothing.
First, you want to make sure that you get the ideal items for successful this whole thing. If anyone tries to tell you it’s not a competition, they're certainly planted liars from the Capitol. Here are the tiers of items you’ll get depending on likelihood of your success in the arena:
TIER 1
This upper echelon is for the Career Tributes aka the Wangsters that are probably in high school and cutting class to be in line. These people will have very first access to the collection, so they’ll be scoring the best gear. Here’s what they will certainly shop:
1 . Jacket: $199. This neoprene jacket does not scream "trendy cooperation piece. " You could probably get away with wearing it for most of the winter, until it finally gets really cold of course. Then, you'll need something serious (like a fur), so good thing this is only $200. You can’t blow it all here.
2 . Sweatshirt: $59. 95. The sweatshirt is the trophy piece. Every cool or cool-ish tumblr already has one, and so, to establish and solidify one’s dominance, this sweatshirt is necessary.
3. The Dress: $99. This dress is also great because it doesn’t state Wang anywhere on it. While the Wang-logo saturated pieces are the signature of this selection, they also screams “HEY! I got this at H&M! And I probably waited online for it too. ” That is not cool. You can still wear this dress in the actual klerb (that’s club pronounced the cool way) and not be afraid that forty other girls will have the same one, because you killed them all of course (metaphorically speaking).
TIER 2
The shoppers who will be forced to choose the Tier 2 items will definitely die on day 2 of the Hunger Video games, mostly because they were not able to grab any of the really necessary goods from the cornucopia. They will be shopping the following:
1 . Shoes- $299. Though these shoes are a revamp of a single of Wang’s most popular styles, to try on a shoe during such a hectic occasion will only cost you precious time. Plus, they are more expensive than some of the stuff that the professions had so you will have less money later. It doesn’t really matter, you will be lifeless in a day.
2 . “Fitness” gloves (real ones, not to be confused with the keychain)- $59. 95. These are cleverly referred to as “fitness gloves” and not “boxing gloves” simply because I’m assuming that you cannot actually box with them. No matter. They will look great in one’s house. They are not functional, but are good for bragging rights and still under $100, therefore it means you managed to get something in this frenzy. It’s decorative AND chic.
3. Leather-based Track Pants- $349. These pants are insanely expensive! You literally might buy real leather pants from Alexander Wang with a lot less tension. Okay fine, they are a lot more expensive, technically, but you know what? My dad says actually pay for convenience. It’s true. But it is also a waste of time to go to pants because you have to try them on a well. What if they give you diaper butt? Then you just invested your cheddar on poopy pants.
TIER 3
Maybe you hesitated, maybe you were number 247 in line, who knows, but 1 thing’s for sure: The careers got everything good. You kind of expected which to happen didn’t you? We all know you haven’t been prepping since April. But , almost all is not lost, because you’re resourceful!
1 . Sports Bra $39. 95
Get a sports bra. You know your size, so you don’t have to stress about attempting anything on, and hey you can wear that over a shirt if you really want everybody to know you were to snag a piece of this collab. And, if nothing otherwise, you can be that person who skips a shirt and does the fancy sports v?ldigt bra thing in Soulcycle.
2 . Swimsuit- $59. 95. Well, it’s a nice swimsuit? However the polar vortex is coming, so you really should have gone for that jacket. You snooze, a person freeze.
3. Duffel- $129. If you were able to grab this early, you could reuse it to hold all of the other items you were able to get your hands on. But , let us be serious, this is tier 3, there’s nothing much left to grab. The actual duffel is…useful?
TIER 4
Tier four represents the poor souls that were massacred in the aforementioned "cornucopia blood bath. "You’re dead. You were from District 12, but you're not Katniss. So , unfortunately, you might be pretty unlucky. Here’s what you get:
1 . Scuba-Look Gloves, $29. 95. Can occur, what are these even for? You know you can’t actually wear them scuba diving. They are only for the “look” of looking like you are scuba diving, which you definitely cannot do since you already skipped school coming to this.
2 . Leather Waist Belt, $79. ninety five. This belt is $80 and you basically can only wear it with other Alexander Wang x H&M apparel, which you did not get because you died (metaphorically! ) before you decide to could. So the belt is really pointless on its own. You can’t just wear this together with your regular old jeans.
3. Yoga Mat, $69. 95. Okay, so you should possess gotten this when Alexander Wang made one for his own line, but if you act like you didn’t, who cares? You probably already have a yoga mat. If you doyoga, it is important to think about the fact that this mat might go the way of the “fitness” and “scuba-look” mitts and is probably not 100 percent functional. You will risk it of course , but it doesn’t issue, your fate is sealed.
TIER 5
1 . The Cup- $29. 95. I mean, let’s be serious, this really is all that’s left. Unless your name is Wendy, Walter, or Wang (and if it is, you need to get on eBay immediately and get something with your actual name), then a black cup (just one! ) with a giant “W” on it acts no purpose in your life. You can say it’s a pimp cup but it is not 2002 and everyone will know.
2 . A regular old sweater from H&M. Well, why not, you are already there.
So good luck tomorrow, folks! And may the odds be ever for your benefit!
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