Congrats To Miley Cyrus On The Birth Of Her First Child

It looks like just yesterday we were watching Hanna Montana. Then suddenly Hanna unzipped such as some sort of disturbingly realistic human costume and Miley Cyrus emerged in a scary drunk teddy bear leotard, twerking her ass bones at any camera the girl could see in a manner that can only be described as a sexually threatening overture. Just thinking about it floods my heart with memories the way hot chocolate fills a mug in the center of winter. An awful, cheap, disposable mug with a Zuul haircut and Justin Bieber's face.
Well, it's time to start building some new memories. Miley has formally grown up as she, and we (the entire world I mean) celebrate the turn up of her daughter Bubba Sue.

Miley Cyrus, Bubba Sue The Pig, Instagram

Being a parent is a magical experience. I mean, don't get me incorrect, it's also tough at times. For instance when your kid sees footage of you traveling a wrecking ball naked and you have to be like, "I'm 45 years old right now and don't really know that person anymore but hey, at least I made sufficient money to make sure you had an over-sized hat for every NBA team while we were young because, well, priorities. "
Ohhhh, look at her. She's got her mommy's... parts.

Miley Cyrus, Bubba Sue The Pig, Instagram

Good luck, Bubba Sue. Mommy loves you now but eventually you'll be living on a tour tour bus being cared for by an assistant. Then you will "accidently" be left at a location and never picked up. Remember when Justin Bieber got a monkey? You observed it lately?
Awwww. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that. She's so cute. I simply can't stop visualizing Bubba Sue squealing her way out of Miley's vaginal area during a recording session.

Miley Cyrus, Bubba Sue The Pig, Instagram

Congratulations again, Miley. You earned this... Wait, what?... A pig? Bubba Sue is a pig Miley Cyrus bought? Ohhhh. Yeah. That makes so much more feeling with her lifestyle.

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